Like an old nail. Useless, except for being sharp and hurtful.
The past 10 days have taken our family down a road of twists, potholes, stank roadkill, and we have incurred all the proverbial and non-proverbial bumps and bruises and scars to fill the journey's pot to the brim. What we thought was going to be a lovely vacation spent piddling around the house with odd jobs and little day trips was nothing of the sort. The depths darkened on the foreboding day of our own Primary (Yes, Obama lost here, but keep hope alive) and things went downhill fast.
Now, feeling quite banged up, we begin the emptying out process. The purging of whatever mucus remains.The burning of the sheets, if you will. Now we are breaking the petals off of flowers and washing clean the dinginess that two parents with pneumonia, two fevered, then fine, then cough- due- to- cold kids brings.
So there you have it- a brief explanation of the hiatus. I am not going to go into every negative detail about all the other bouts of yuckiness with which we came into contact because we are not yet allowed (due to pneumonia and asthma) to bring out the sage in order to smudge the shit out. Plus I don't need to get started again. But, I will say that lessons have been learned. And... with darkness always comes light.
We have been watching a ton of The Sound of Music (over and over and over). Twirlin's rendition of Julie Andrew's "I have confidence in con-fi-dence aloooone" at least makes me laugh, even if I don't "have confidence in me." Really, what better movie to watch when you feel like poop? Such clear Dharma messages- all that thinking about our "favorite things" so the delusions don't get the best of us. hhmmmm.... good triumphing over evil , believing in ourselves and our dreams all the whilst singing away our heartache. Only of course to escape into the hills of Switzerland and then into the Green Mountains of Vermont, forever. Not bad stuff.
Just to put you on par with where I was at- I wrote, (barely legible) in the middle of the heaviness of the week, "I feel like Jo in Orchard house and Maria in the Abbey." And I did- completely stifled by putrid stagnancy. Half of which I created with my own negative voices. OK, maybe not half. What a two week period for Buddhism classes to be on a break, right? Just my luck/karma. This is me ready to go back. "Hi, my name is Lauren, and I'm ready to have some more resonance with the divine."
No joke.
Here's twirlin' enjoying her own "resonance with the divine" before the fever hit.
Maybe I don't need class as much as I thought. I've got my own lessons in pure joy right here. In my own backyard no less. Go figure.
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